Wednesday, March 27, 2013
When I stopped drinking alcohol in October of 2009, I never thought that my earlier addiction to alcohol would haunt me for many years to come.
It was a very hard decision to stop drinking alcohol, because my entire life revolved around alcohol for so many years. Alcohol ran my life and included in that, were the people that loved and cared for me.
I never realized how I hurt them with all those years of my drinking, but now being sober, I now know that you and I could destroy the lives of your own flesh and blood and we would never even realize it. That is so sad to me now thinking back at those horrible days of my addiction to alcohol.
None of us ever think about others in our life that we are hurting, while we are so much in denial, and don't even think for a moment that we have an alcohol problem.
You know, you or I can not turn back the hands of time and make things better of what we messed up over the years of alcohol abuse, but we can fix our life now and make things better for ourselves and the ones that loved and cared for us while we abused our lives.
If you happen to have an addiction to alcohol or drugs, just stop and think for a moment and look around you and see with your own eyes what you are doing to others. They don't deserve to go through the hell you are putting them through by your habit of drinking your life away.
They don't deserve being pulled down to rock bottom along with you. This is what bothers me the most. I put many people, such as my parents, my spouse Linda (of 32 years) and my children through hell. They saw their husband and father drink every night of the week, and they got to the point when they were older, that they were embarrassed of my life style and they way I acted and talked when getting that buzz and drunk on.
Abusing alcohol, and being so selfish can, and will destroy families sooner or later if you and I don't do something to change it. We, the alcoholics are the only ones that can make things right in our life and make the lives of those that love us right.
Please don't get me wrong, I have nothing against drinking alcohol at all. I loved alcohol just as much or ever more than the next person, but I was one of those guys that never knew when enough was enough. More, more I would say to myself until I got that drunk on that I was so used to having. In the meantime, it took more and more alcohol to get to that point that I was satisfied.
So getting back to my earlier statement, I never knew how my alcohol addiction would haunt me for years to come, meaning, yes I got sober, but I did ruin many things along the way to my sobriety and I felt, and still feel ashamed and upset of my past lifestyle. But, I have made it right now, and with that said, I am proud of myself and happy my family stood by my side through all the hell I put them through.
It is my turn to help others now understand that if you have an addiction of any kind, never give up hope. You can change your life. All you have to do is to DO IT!
I still, to this day, feel bad for what I caused my family and friends to have to go through while I was having a great time drinking my life away. I remember the arguments and fights (verbal - never physical) over my abuse of alcohol and what I was doing to myself.
So many times I was told to stop drinking, or least slow down. I just let those words go in one ear and out the other. You know what I am talking about, I am sure of it. None of us alcoholics what to hear the true because, WE CAN'T handle the truth. And why is that? Because we all live in DENIAL, that is why. We don't think for a minute that we have a drinking problem, and the people that tell us we do, don't know what they are talking about. Does any of this sound familiar to you?
Once you own up and admit you are an alcoholic, and want to stop drinking alcohol, is when you will start to feel peace in your life. You will not have your demons running your life anymore. You will feel FREE and at peace with yourself, and at that time you will begin to have peace in your family life as well. Those that you hurt along the way while you were drinking and abusing alcohol will feel that peace in their life too, and will be so happy and proud that you took action and changed your life as I did.
It is the time to make things right in your life, and the people that are in your life. They too will feel that sense of peace as well when they see that person that they love and care for being clean and sober and getting their life back on track. In that case, everyone involved will be getting their lives back on track.
It is then you will feel the peace in your life, that you let your demons go and are now living a sober life.
You will start to see how your appearance will improve and will start to feel so much better, physically and mentally. You beat your demons, and now it is time to take care of yourself and others in your life. Before, all we thought about is to feed our demons and give them the alcohol they needed to thrive in our bodies. Bye bye demons, you will no longer run and try to ruin my life for not one more second.
This is what you have to think about and tell yourself in order to make that huge change in your life. Sobriety will not just come to you. It will take hard work to get sober and then stay sober forever, but once you make that life change and stick to it, you will be so proud of yourself that you won the battle between you and your inner demons.
Don't get me wrong, it will be a battle for the rest of your life to stay sober. Your demons will be hanging out in your body just waiting for you to mess up and start drinking alcohol again. They will never go away. It is up to you to keep them where they belong, and where they belong is NOT IN YOUR LIFE anymore.
So, if you want that peace in your life and continue to have that peace, DON"T ever give in to the demons of alcohol no matter what happens in your life from now on. There will be urges, craving for the rest of your life, but never give in, NEVER!
No ones life is a bed of roses. There will always be something that will come up that will upset you, or you may have a sickness in the family, or financial problems, but whatever pops up in your life, never give in and turn back to drinking alcohol, because it will NOT solve anything!
Stand strong and keep that positive attitude at all times in your life and you will see how being strong and positive will help you stay sober.
The past is the past and now it is time to make things right for you and yours. Get sober, and stay that way, and you will see what a great life awaits you and yours.