Well, It has been 92 days, Clean and Sober. It really feels great to me. I never thought in a million years I would be on this journey to Sobriety, only because it was a everyday routine for me, just like waking up and brushing your teeth. It was part and my day, and a big part of my life. Everything I did had to revolve around drinking. It has been a long time coming.
I have finally admitted to myself that I have a "Alcohol Addiction" that has to be dealt with in a careful manner. First I must be ready to give up the demons on my own, and I am sure ready for that now. I had to prepare myself for the fight of my life. I didn't want to do the "slow down a little at a time routine", like some people do. I knew that I was not that kind of a person that can have one or two drinks and call it the night. No, my body keep asking for more, and I fed it, till I had enough. The only way to accomplish this addiction for me is to go Cold Turkey, which is what I did. I was worried about the side effects, that people would say might happen. With the help of God, nothing at all happened to me. So, I proved that their theory was wrong about slowing down a little at a time, at least for me, Cold Turkey worked. You have to grab the devil by the horns and put up a good fight, until you win for good. They will try and try to get back into your life. You have to be strong, and push them away no matter how hard it is. Don't ever tilt the bottle up again, because if you do, you will be right back where you started and maybe worse than before.
During the first week I did have the desire for a drink, but keep saying to myself, don't let the demon's win. My mind keep telling me, you are much stronger then the addiction you are fighting, and do not give in. After the first week went by I said, man that was a fast week, then I started counting the days with not a drink. It is like a game I play now, to keep adding the days and rewarding myself for what I have accomplished in a short time.
One day, I thought to myself , I haven't thought about a drink at all today. It was like I never drank, it simply just disappeared out of my body and mind. I felt as if the world was lifted off my shoulders, or I just got released from jail. It was a kinda empty feeling, just like if you were to loss a family member to death. Although, it was a good empty feeling that I had. I felt Free At Last, now I can do anything I want. Before, after I started drinking for the day or evening, I was then a prisoner in my own home, I say that because, I never would drink and drive, so if I needed something after drinking I would have to ask someone to get it for me. That did not go very well in my household.
Now, I am free to come and go as I please, with not a worry in the world, all because, I had a
Positive Attitude from the very beginning of my journey to Sobriety.
Mark
Wow, once you made your decision and faced your demons and you were on your way to living. I am sure that is your positive thinking that has kept you going and living life to the fullest.
ReplyDeleteAs you think so shall life bring you what you think about the most, so you better be thinking good thoughts. If your life seems full of bad things, you have no one else to blame. Check your thoughts very cafefully.
ReplyDeletetrust, thanks for your comment and for reading. Since I became sober I think nothing but good now and continue to think positive in anything I now do.
ReplyDeleteIt's nice to read this. Alcohol has been such a key part in my life but I was always able to keep my social friend at arms length. It has now taken over and I'm struggling to move forward. I have set a date and preparing, I too will go cold turkey and without help. But I must do this on my own because it's what "I" want. Thank you for sharing this is really helping.
ReplyDelete@ Michelle , Thanks for reading and I truly hope you will be able to overcome this horrible addiction. Never give up hope Michelle! Continue to stay positive and keep telling yourself You Can and Will get and stay sober.That is what I did and still do to this day. Many things have happened in my life over the past year and believeme I thought about to drink, but by drinking again will never solve or fix anything. It only makes things worse.
ReplyDeleteGod Bless and enjoy your Holidays!!!