Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Keeping A Positive Attitude Towards Your Journey To Sobriety

Well, It has been 92 days, Clean and Sober. It really feels great to me.  I never thought in a million years I would be on this journey to Sobriety, only because it was a everyday routine for me, just like waking up and brushing your teeth. It was part and my day, and a big part of my life. Everything I did had to revolve around drinking.  It has been a long time coming.

I have finally admitted to myself that I have a "Alcohol Addiction" that has to be dealt with in a careful manner. First I must be ready to give up the demons on my own, and I am sure ready for that now. I had to prepare myself for the fight of my life. I didn't want to do the "slow down a little at a time routine", like some people do. I knew that I was not that kind of a person that can have one or two drinks and call it the night. No, my body keep asking for more, and I fed it, till I had enough.  The only way to accomplish this addiction for me is to go Cold Turkey, which is what I did. I was worried about the side effects, that people would say might happen. With the help of God, nothing at all happened to me.  So, I proved that their theory was wrong about slowing down a little at a time, at least for me, Cold Turkey worked.  You have to grab the devil by the horns and put up a good fight, until you win for good. They will try and try to get back into your life. You have to be strong, and push them away no matter how hard it is. Don't ever tilt the bottle up again, because if you do, you will be right back where you started and maybe worse than before.

During the first week I did have the desire for a drink, but keep saying to myself, don't let the demon's win.  My mind keep telling me, you are much stronger then the addiction you are fighting, and do not give in. After the first week went by I said, man that was a fast week, then I started counting the days with not a drink. It is like a game I play now, to keep adding the days and rewarding myself for what I have accomplished in a short time.

One day, I thought to myself , I haven't thought about a drink at all today.  It was like I never drank, it simply just disappeared  out of my body and mind.  I felt as if the world was lifted off my shoulders, or I just got released from jail. It was a kinda empty feeling, just like if you were to loss a family member to death. Although, it was a good empty feeling that I had. I felt Free At Last, now I can do anything I want. Before, after I started drinking for the day or evening, I was then a prisoner in my own home, I say that because, I never would drink and drive, so if I needed something after drinking I would have to ask someone to get it for me. That did not go very well in my household.

Now, I am free to come and go as I please, with not a worry in the world, all because, I had a
Positive Attitude from the very beginning of my journey to Sobriety.


Sunday, January 24, 2010

How To Go Sober With Mind Over Matter

Three months ago, I faced the biggest  challenge of my life, "To Go Sober". I made my mind up, that I have had enough of the alcohol abuse, and the pain that I caused to myself and family.This was a huge decision I had to make, and I had better make it quick before everything totally falls to pieces. 

My first thought was that I have to get a game plan, on how I  was going to tackle this long journey to sobriety. With a lot of thinking ,things started to come to me quite easy, do to the fact that I started with a "positive attitude" and I truly wanted to be sober this time, because the last time I tried, I did not do to well and fell off the wagon for one reason or another.  I really didn't have my whole heart into it the first time.  I was young and just wanted to party with my friends. As years went by, and I got older, I started to see how alcohol was affecting me and my life. It was a big wake up call, all I had to do is to look in the mirror and it said it all. No one had to say anything to me, it said it all right in the mirror. As we all know, mirrors and pictures don't lie.

This was the start for me to first change what I saw in the mirror and to change my life and my addicting habits.I said, I"m going to try this on my own and just bite the bullet and go Cold Turkey. I knew that it may cause some complication, but I prayed a lot for this not to happen, and believe it or not, I didn't have one problem at all. God gave me the will power and the strength to get through that hurdle. I truly believe that anyone can conquer anything if you just put your mind to it and keep a "positive attitude" in what you are trying to do. You have to be Strong and Want It Bad , and it will happen for you.

The first two or three days I had thoughts of the drink, but I prepared my mind for this situation in the beginning, because I knew it was going to be hard in the very beginning for me.  We are all stronger than we think, as far as the mind goes.  We can add habits into our brain, some good, and then, those bad habits.  But if we can add them into our brain then we can also erase them just as fast, if you have the will power and the strength to not let the demons take over your body and mind again. God gave us a great gift, the Gift of Life, and I am going to enjoy that gift. It's never to late to change, I did, and I'm loving every minute of it.

It makes you feel good when you know that you have complete control of your body and mind, and to know that no nasty habit can control you any more. I just keep thinking positive and think of all the dreams I have, that I could not accomplish while being controlled by the addiction I had.

Think of what you really want in life, and if you stand strong to yourself you can achieve what ever you want.
I know, I"m on my way to the Dreams I once had, and hopefully be able to help someone that's trying to Go Sober like I did. You will never be sorry you did!
Celebrate...    "The Clean Life"  that is waiting for you!

The trick to this is very simple, Prepare Your Mind, and Go Sober With Mind Over Matter.


Saturday, January 23, 2010

How I Did Self Hypnosis To Quit Drinking

I am not a Doctor, nor a therapist by any means, although what I have accomplished over the last three month is remarkable.  I used to drink every day, beer only not the hard stuff for many years.  I have written other posts regarding some on my stories and what I did to conquer those nasty demons that were controlling my body and my mind.

When I first decided to go cold turkey with the alcohol, I thought to myself this is going to be a long journey ahead of me.  I first started by telling myself, what are the pros and cons to my addiction. I really did not have to think to long because.it seemed that all the bad things were out weighing the good right away. I was miserable, not happy, kinda hated myself in a way because I knew I was doing something to harm myself and also my family and friends, but when the drinking started I forgot about those things. I was indeed in denial.

I had to some how get my head together when being sober, to plan my escape from the demons.  I said this can only be mind over matter, I can conquer this with no problem.  When I said that to myself it was hard,
because I figured it might be a problem. I was affraid of the side affects that might go along with the cold turkey.  I keep so busy with my mind and body that it was hard for the urge to kick in.  I also ate dinner right after work instead of 10 or 11 at night after my drinking was done.  Eating made me so full that I did not even want to drink the beer and blow me up even more. So I was full with some good food instead of alcohol.

Then when getting ready for work I would look in the mirror and what I saw  was horrible. I was always skinny but I looked, as you would say, pregnant.  I knew by giving up the alcohol that the stomach would go down quick, and it did. I had to say to myself that if I can only get the first day under my belt it will be a challenge to get to the second , third and so on. It was like a game to me, saying who will win?  So as the days went by and the stomach going down it gave me more willpower to keep it up.  I felt great about myself and what I saw was looking better and better as the days went on. I thought, man this positive attitude I started with is really working. Every day that went by it seems to have been easier and easier to cope this huge change in my life. You really have to want to stop the drinking, and no matter who tells you to quit it isn't  going to work unless you really what to change your life on your own..I know because I was told a thousand times, but I was not ready for the change.  As you know, the saying sometimes is, you just about have to hit rock bottom for the lights to turn on. They sure did for me and I so happy they did. I still have alcohol in the house and it will stay there, and I will still go to parties and functions and just have my coffee and water. I want to keep showing the demons that I am far better and smarter then they will ever be.

The demons can chase me all they want, but their not going to catch me nor get back into my body ever again. When I say, this is like a game, what I mean is, every one in the world whats to win always and never lose anything. So, when I said  How I Did Self Hypnosis to Quit Drinking, it was some of the things I mentioned starting with a positive attitude that you can and will conquer the addiction that has taken over your body. Believe me  to win that war with the demons and to start a new and Clean Life is more rewarding than you can ever know.

I am so thankful to God that I had no side affects at all, something that I was worried about the most, and why, I think that the positive attitude had a lot to do with it from the start. Your brain is a great thing and with a clear mind you can control whats happening inside.  It stores habits, but you can erase those habits with your mind, just think positive and it will happen, it did for me.

My future... "DESTINY LIFE"

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Feeling Guilty With My Alcohol Addiction

I had a sense of real guilt all the years of drinking.  I did not show it outside, but deep within I knew I was doing wrong, not only to myself but to my whole family.  This past through my mind only when I was sober.  Once the drinking started the quilt feeling left me and I did not care anymore.

My wife, and all of my family keep saying to slow it up, but I didn't  listen nor did I even care.  I thought to myself  I am not doing anything wrong and I am not hurting anyone, so why slow up and even more quit all together.  I saw that when I was sober everyone was around and people would talk to me more so when I drank. I was surely in denial but didn't want to admit I was wrong. I figured what's the problem, everyone drinks so why attack me for drinking?  Well, after many years of drinking and the older I got it started to make sense to me. Everyone was on me for drinking because the cared about me and loved me, and wanted a good life for me.

I was always told by my wife and family, why is it that your job for 8 hours a day gets to see you sober and enjoy your humor , but I, we get to see you buzzed and miserable at night after the drinking starts.  I said  to myself  what in the world are they talking about, I'm the same person in the morning as I am in the evening, so I thought. I was in denial so bad, that I thought everything was just great in my life.  I was told on many occasions  that my own children did not want to be around me when I drank.  I never knew that, I just thought they were going out with friends, but the real truth was they were out with friends but to get away from me.  Over the years of being told these things I finally realized this is a real mess I'm in here, that my family has to hide from me when I drank. So Sad!

I had a real alcohol addiction but could not see it, when it was right in front of my eyes. I was the type of person that could not just have one drink, I had to drink till it was gone.  All said in the nut shell is that I felt guilty with my alcohol addition inside but just didn't want to do anything about it.  In October 2009, I was confronted by my wife with a basic and so familiar statement. I new it was coming sooner or later, and it was, Give it up or I will have to do what I have to do, and she meant it this time for sure. I said to myself woo, this is for real this time and I'd better get my stuff together real quick.

On the following day, I announced that I was going cold turkey and get our lives back the way it should be.
I was so happy that day, when I said, this will be the end of the battle with my demons within, and felt great inside by doing it. Sometimes it takes someone to put you up against the wall with a decision that you have to make, and that decision could make or break everything in your life and your future.  I made the right one and very happy and proud of it.  I said to myself that night, is it really worth my wife, family, friends and my life for the almighty drink?

It has been now,almost 3 months sober and loving every minute of it. I am so happy that my wife called me on this and really not only saved our marriage but she saved my life.  I was on the path of self destruction and never saw it. The thing I have learned is that everyone has deep within the will power to conquer and achieve anything in life if you just put your mind to it. Some, it may be harder than others but it can be done. I am so happy that all the side effects like the dt's never happened to me. God was by my side on that one and gave me the strength and will power to get through this. I can now focus with a clear mind of what our future is  going to be and achieve my goals that I put on the back burner because of my alcohol addiction.

Tuesday, January 19, 2010


All my life I aways had big dreams.  To own a huge house over looking the water with a dock and a nice boat.Or, over looking the beautiful ocean and the smell of salt air and the warm breeze blowing through my hair.
My parents always told me I had rich taste. I guess I got that from my mothers side of the family, because her relatives owned a castle in England, with servants and maids.  That is were I get the rich taste, I guess.

So, my story is that in the last almost 3 months I have been sober, and with the sobriety I can now think straight and have my head together to try and live these big dreams that I could not get before sobriety.  I am on a path to achieve these high goals I have.  First, by going to school to get my realtor licience , and sell some great properties in the shore area and get those big commissions too. Not a over night job, but it is possible in the near future. My father and uncle sold home and did very well.  I know the business of homes only because I have built a few of them with my father in-law from start to finish, including concrete, framing and everything that goes with house building.  So, I have that part  conquered  and I know what to look for in finding a great home for a buyer.

Second, is to retire from the job I have now, which is a Manager for a large Cemetery and Crematory in New Jersey.  I have been working in that field for about 24 years and before that I worked at a hospital for 10 years..In my opinion that is about enough of that kind of work for me. I have seen it all and have done it all, and don't want to see it or do it anymore.  It's time for my big dream to come true!  People say how in the world can you do that kind of work. I tell them first, you have to be caring and kind to the people you serve because they come into the office grieving of their loss and it is my job to try the best I can to comfort them. I must say I am great at that and I will be great in the selling of homes. I have a lot of confidence in myself now being sober and also a clear mind to get those big dreams and make them a reality.


Saturday, January 9, 2010


This is me in the garage having a cold one. It makes me sick to even look at myself holding that beer because as you know if you read the other posts I wrote, you would know why. The start for me was a long time ago, somewhere around 19 years old or so when I was served a summons for a paternity suit.  It was thrown out of court and that was great for me.  I won that battle but, I loss the battle with the alcohol addiction I acquire from the years of lawyers and court dates.  So now I was addicted to alcohol and enjoyed it.  I quit once for 3 years and then again for 2 years. For some reason or another I did not have the will power to continue to be sober.  As years went by and I got older and wiser I thought to myself, this is really out of hand now, and I'm hooked on this big time, worse than the past years. So I said ,what I'm going to do now about this addiction? After a lot of thought and preparing myself for a war with my demons I decided, I would have to go cold turkey with this problem.  So I did about 75 days ago and believe it or not I have not thought about a drink since, and never will again!  I never really relaxed when I drank because as everyone knows that the drink gives you energy. at least it did for me. So I was always on the go doing one thing or another, until I was done drinking for the night and than I crashed.  Today, being sober all the time I feel great, and I relax every night like I never relaxed before. I'm up till one or two in the morning and not passing out at ten or eleven at night.

So, that was the start and now I am on the finish line of the Sober Lane  I wake up every morning feeling great and proud of myself for what I am doing, not only for me, but my family and my friends.  I only wish I would of done this the first time I went sober, but that is in the past and now.  I am only concerned now for the future. So far, everything is on the up for me and I see great things in the future. I learned that I  am the only one that can control my mind and that if you put your mind to something, like getting sober, you can indeed conquer it as long as you have the will power and a clear mind to think straight. Also, stay strong always to yourself and you can beat the demons within.


Thursday, January 7, 2010

Free at Last

Well, I think I am free at last from the demons within.  I last spoke of the Fresh Start in my last post and now I"ll try to explain to you how I prepared for this journey.  First of all, I began by saying to myself what in the world am I doing to myself and my family?  I wanted to get off the addition I had so bad that I decided to go cold turkey.  Now, some people can be social drinkers and not have a problem. I, on the other hand could not handle drinking on occasion and leave it be until the next party or function. Some people say oh no you shouldn't just go cold turkey, you need to start with having say 6 drinks and the next night have 5 and so on untill your at no drinks at all.  That only sounded like a tease to me, so I than decided to do the cold turkey.  I was surprised how well it went with no DT's at all, which I was worried about. You have to start with a open mind and say to yourself I am going to conquer this addiction once and for all. Be true to youself and respect yourself, because we are all only here on earth for a limited time, so why make that time shorter than it should be do to an addiction. I keep myself busy all the time between work and projects around the house and writing these post which I also think helps me with my problem. Till next time stay happy and sober.

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Fresh Start

October 27, 2009, was the day of a fresh start for me and my new life. It has been a long and not very easy journey to give up the drink, as I call it, My Demons. But, I'll tell you what, it wasn't as hard as I thought. With alot of prayers and alot of will power, I have conquered and defeated the demons within.

In order for me to have defeated these demons was first, to be open to myself and to my family, and not to be ashamed to call it quits for good. I used to look at people that did not drink and were sober all the time as not fun people to be around. I thought they were square. We, in the party world, would look down at them. Boy, after being sober for a couple of months, first it feels great, but more important was I ever wrong. Now I have a different look on things and guess what, I was the square one and they were the smart ones. I can't even count the times I did not want to go somewhere because there was no drinking involved. It was a effort for me to go and couldn't wait to leave to get home to the almighty drink. Well things are much different now and the functions and Holiday's that just passed I had a great time and SOBER at that.