When there is alcoholism in the family or just someone you may know and love, we think by giving the alcoholic things they may ask for such as money to support their addiction and saying it's Okay by us to drink is helping them, and in fact we are helping them destroy themselves.
Assist not enable an alcoholic is what we should be doing. Assist them in their need to get help. Give them the love and support to get better and surrender to their addiction.
Support them in every way possible, but never enable them with their addiction. Don't let them know it is okay by what they are doing. Try to explain to the alcoholic that they are slowing killing them self and possibly on the verge of losing their family and friends if you see it with your own eyes, because the alcoholic can not see these things, for they are blinded by their addiction, just as I was two years ago.
So many people that are addicted to alcohol live in their own little world of denial and really can't understand why people harass them with their alcoholism problem. We all try to make the alcoholic understand what they are doing is not good at all, but they just don't want to listen, nor did I.
I thought everyone was crazy to even think I had a addiction to alcohol. Now that I am clean and sober, I now realize that I was the crazy one and not them. They did not enable me at all, in fact they tried so hard to assist me in getting help and I just wasn't ready to surrender to my addiction, just as so many alcoholics feel.
No matter what people say or do regarding you quitting drinking alcohol, if you are not ready in your heart to give up and surrender once and for all, then no matter what they say is useless.
So the bottom line is if you truly want to help the alcoholic surrender to their addiction, them help them in the right way by leading them in the right direction towards a clean and sober life. Don't give up on them. Sooner or later, hopefully they will see the light at the end of the tunnel and admit they do have an addiction to alcohol and then they will ask for the help they need, but until they are ready, assist them and not enable them.