Saturday, November 19, 2011

Enabling The Alcoholic

When there is am alcoholic in your family or any part of your life, many of us tend to feel sorry for them and their addiction to alcohol.  When we start to feel sorry for them we begin enabling the alcoholic and sometimes we don't know that we are in fact hurting them and not helping them.

Many of us think we are doing the alcoholic a favor by lending or giving them money to support their addiction, but in fact we are enabling them, and by doing so, they think what they are doing by drinking and abusing alcohol is okay.

I can realize that someone would feel sorry for the alcoholic because there was an alcoholic in my family and one time and it was myself.  I would ask he same questions to people,such as,do you have any money so I can get a six pack or can you lend me some money because I spent mine on alcohol.

Better yet, when the alcoholic begins drinking in the afternoon or anytime of the day really and then runs out of alcohol and needs more to continue drinking and getting more drunk they then ask if these people can buy more alcohol for them because they are too drunk to drive and get it them self.

All these things our families and our friends may do in enabling the alcohol, but instead these families and friends have to learn the word "NO" and not enable the alcoholic anymore.  Sooner or later the alcoholic may get the hint, although I have known many alcoholics that can get very nasty because what they have asked for as a favor the person or people refuse to do for them.

The main purpose of this article is just to say if there is an alcoholic in your family or in your life, do not enable them and give them what they want.  You are only making things worse by doing so.  You need to be strong and no how to tell the alcoholic, "No I can not help you kill yourself and I refuse to say it is okay to drink alcohol."  If you say no enough times and not enable the alcoholic in their time of need, they will have no choice but to figure it out on their own or simply start to think to them selves, maybe I do have an addiction and I should ask for the help I need to get clean and sober.

This is not to say that the alcoholic will do the above, but it certainly will make it harder for them to get the alcohol they need and when the start to realize they are losing the families and friends slow but sure all because of their addiction they may then see the light and get help.

You are not holding back the alcohol from them just to be a nasty and mean person, you are doing it to save their life and make them realize there is a beautiful life out there for them living it sober.  Be supportive and help them get sober, but not enable them to use you or try to take advantage of you as far as helping them in their addiction.