Here is a question to think about for all those that loan or give money to an alcoholic. Is loaning money to an alcoholic enabling them?
For anyone that does this, I know what you are thinking right now. You think that you are helping the alcoholic by giving or loaning them money to buy their alcohol, but in fact you are enabling them and making them think that is perfectly okay to drink and abuse alcohol as they are doing.
They then think by you giving them money to help them get the alcohol necessary for their fix you will continue to do so whenever they ask again.
You, the enabler, feel bad by saying, "NO I will not feed your addiction by giving you money!" You hurt inside by saying no, so you give in and give the alcoholic what they need to make them happy. You are not helping by any means by giving in and saying yes here is some money so that you can buy your alcohol.
By doing this and giving in, the alcoholic will expect this yes for an answer everytime they ask for money. You have to be firm and same No I will not support you habit and your addiction no longer.
I know this will be hard for you to say, but I have been there in my life of my own addiction to alcohol. I used to ask my wife, "please go out and buy me more beer because I was so buzzed and drunk I couldn't drive, so I pleaded with her to go out for me, or simply take me so that I didn't have to drive. She didn't like it, and in fact hated that I would ask her this, but she always said yes just to shut me up.
See she thought she was doing good by shutting me up, but in fact she was letting me win all the time if I bitched and complained enough. You simply have to say NO I will not go out and buy you more alcohol, and I will not drive you anywhere to buy it.
She just wanted to keep peace in the house and I can see that, but in reality it was making it worse,, until one day when her words to me were, "IT IS ME OR ALCOHOL...YOU MAKE THE CHOICE!"
She meant business and I knew it. It really made me stop and think. "what really is more important, my wife or my addiction to alcohol?" I was smart enough to figure out I'd better change my ways real fast before it is too late. So I did, and that was over 4 years ago and haven't touched a drop of alcohol since.
Our married life improved 1000 percent and life couldn't be any better than it is right now. Our love has grown more than ever and we are closer than ever before, and why is that you may ask?
Because she laid the law down, and stuck to it, and I made the choice to stop drinking and chose my wife over my addiction to alcohol.
Life is great and so is SOBRIETY!
For anyone that has an addiction to alcohol, just try out living sober. You will be very surprised of how your life will turn around all for the good!