Is Loaning Money To An Alcoholic Enabling Them?

Here is a question to think about for all those that loan or give money to an alcoholic.  Is loaning money to an alcoholic enabling them?

For anyone that does this, I know what you are thinking right now.  You think that you are helping the alcoholic by giving or loaning them money to buy their alcohol, but in fact you are enabling them and making them think that is perfectly okay to drink and abuse alcohol as they are doing.

They then think by you giving them money to help them get the alcohol necessary for their fix you will continue to do so whenever they ask again.

You, the enabler, feel bad by saying, "NO I will not feed your addiction by giving you money!"  You hurt inside by saying no, so you give in and give the alcoholic what they need to make them happy. You are not helping by any means by giving in and saying yes here is some money so that you can buy your alcohol.

By doing this and giving in, the alcoholic will expect this yes for an answer everytime they ask for money.  You have to be firm and same No I will not support you habit and your addiction no longer.

I know this will be hard for you to say, but I have been there in my life of my own addiction to alcohol.  I used to ask my wife, "please go out and buy me more beer because I was so buzzed and drunk I couldn't drive, so I pleaded with her to go out for me, or simply take me so that I didn't have to drive.  She didn't like it, and in fact hated that I would ask her this, but she always said yes just to shut me up.

See she thought she was doing good by shutting me up, but in fact she was letting me win all the time if I bitched and complained enough.  You simply have to say NO I will not go out and buy you  more alcohol, and I will not drive you anywhere to buy it.

She just wanted to keep peace in the house and I can see that, but in reality it was making it worse,, until one day when her words to me were, "IT IS ME OR ALCOHOL...YOU MAKE THE CHOICE!"

She meant business and I knew it.  It really made me stop and think. "what really is more important, my wife or my addiction to alcohol?"  I was smart enough to figure out I'd better change my ways real fast before it is too late.  So I did, and that was over 4 years ago and haven't touched a drop of alcohol since.

Our married life improved 1000 percent and life couldn't be any better than it is right now.  Our love has grown more than ever and we are closer than ever before, and why is that you may ask?

Because she laid the law down, and stuck to it, and I made the choice to stop drinking and chose my wife over my addiction to alcohol.

Life is great and so is SOBRIETY!

For anyone that has an addiction to alcohol, just try out living sober. You will be very surprised of how your life will turn around all for the good!

How To get Your Life Back On Track After Leaving An Alcohol Rehabilitation Center

You have finally taken that step towards a new life and have entered a Rehab. Center for the treatment of your alcohol addiction.

You put your heart into getting well and listened to your counselors every words of advice and wisdom.  Now the time comes that you will be released from their care and back you go to the outside world with many temptations from your past and the friends you hung around during those times of drinking and abusing alcohol.

The questions in your mind are how to get your life back on track after leaving an Alcohol Rehabilitation Center?

There are unfortunately many things that you must avoid when entering back into society as a clean and sober person.  Some you may not like, but it is a must to listen to those words from your counselors, as they know best for your well being and your long term sobriety.

Number 1 - You just may have to say goodbye to your past drinking buddies for they will try to influence you to start drinking alcohol again.  They sure don't like drinking alone without you.  Many of them will not support you choice to become clean and sober for jealousy they don't have the willpower or the determination to get sober as you did.

Number 2 -  You may need to stay clear of any parties or functions that your family has until you feel comfortable being around alcohol again. (This is what I had to do in the beginning of my recovery)

Number 3 -  You MUST stay busy physically and mentally at all times so that your minds doesn't wonder to what you are trying to stay away from which is your past alcohol addiction.

Number 4 - Think of a hobby that you would really enjoy doing and be able to even share this hobby with your family.

Number 5 - Take walks alone or with your spouse or sober friends.

Number 6 -  Start a exercise regiment at home or join a gym to be around others that are trying to make their lives better as you are.

National Alcoholism And Substance Abuse INFORMATION CENTER

FIND A REHAB. CENTER IN YOUR AREA

Stop Drinking Alcohol And Get Out Of Denial

Most people I know, including myself, that are addicted to alcohol live their life in denial.  For me, I never thought for a moment that I had an addiction to alcohol although many people thought differently.

If you have a drinking problem, and abuse alcohol like so many people do, you have to stop drinking alcohol and get out of denial.

I truly believe that denial is what holds us back from getting sober and living a life of sobriety.  So many people I know, (and that includes me) thing there is nothing wrong with how much they drink.  They think that having a 12 pack or so each night is no problem at all.  The reason they think this is because that 12 pack that they built up in their system over time has no effect on their personality or the way they act after drinking that much. Little do they know right?  I have people tell me, "I will video you while you have 12 or so beers in you, and will show you when you are sober."

I know people that drink way more than a 12 pack in one night, believe me, and they think nothing of it.  They are so used to having all that alcohol that their bodies just get used to it, but the problem is they want more and more to get that buzz that they had drinking that 12 pack.

You build up that tolerance, and your body just needs more alcohol, and if you don't give your body, (and your demons) what they need you are one miserable person. Such as, running out of alcohol just as you are getting that great buzz and drunk on.

 So the first thing you must do is to admit that you have a drinking problem, and you just could be an alcoholic.  Then you need to get yourself out of the denial you have been living in for so long and take that first step towards sobriety, just like I did in 2009.

A positive attitude is required to even start on your road to recovery.  Without having a positive attitude you will get nowhere fast.  Negativity will hold you back for sure.  You can't tell yourself, "Oh, I don't know if I can get and stay sober."  That is the wrong attitude to have if you want to change your life and live your life sober.
                                               



Here is my Ebook called My Life Of Alcohol Addiction.

There are hundreds of other articles I have written on HubPages in regards to addiction to alcohol, living a happy and simple life, positive attitudes and much more.

What Steps Are Needed To Getting Clean And Sober

There are so many people that have an addiction to alcohol in our world today.  Sad to say, but so very true.  You have no idea just how many people suffer from alcoholism and want a better life , but have no idea how to go about getting that life of sobriety.

They are caught up in the world of addiction with nowhere to turn, or should I say, they choose not to change for the fear of how their life would be without their crutch.

What steps are needed to getting clean and sober?


Step #1 -  First and most important, the alcoholic needs to want to be clean and sober and not get sober because someone is forcing it on them.  They have to want sobriety so bad that they are willing to do anything to get their life back on track and get sober.

Step #2 - They have to get out of the denial they have been living in and finally admit to them self that they are indeed an alcoholic and need help to get clean and sober.  I think once the alcoholic admits there is a huge problem with them and their family life, in which is totally effected by the actions of the addicted person, things will begin to make more sense of why they should try their hardest to surrender to their addiction to alcohol.

Step #3- They have to look at their life and how they are living it in comparison to the way they lived before getting addicted to this horrible addiction we call alcoholism.  They must see for themselves that they are destroying their bodies and their family as well. 

Step#4 - They need to visualize how their life can be living it sober.  Once they can see that their future can be brighter they may then just surrender to their addiction to alcohol.  All they have to do is to look around them and see for them self who is avoiding them.  People that may have been close friends and falling distant because of the poor life style the alcoholic has could be the reason they steer away and avoid being around the alcoholic. The alcoholic can surely see that something is missing in their life and without changing their life they might just lose everything they have over time including their own life.  Addictions are nothing to mess with.  It is like holding a loaded gun and playing Russian Roulette.  Sooner or later you will pull the trigger and the one single bullet in the chamber will be fired.

Step#5-  The alcoholic needs to take a good hard look at their spouse and children a see just how his/her addiction is also effecting them and ruining their lives as well.  You really have to be blind not to see that your bad habits effect many people, not only yourself.

Step #6- The alcoholic needs to change his/her outlook in life and stop feeling sorry for them self and start doing something about it and then take massive action to get sober if they truly want to be free of their addiction once and for all.  Sobriety is out there for all.  It will not come to you.  You need to go after it and shut down the demons inside of you that run and ruin all those addicted in time.  The only way to beat you addiction is to SURRENDER to it.

Step#7- Tell yourself and promise yourself that you will never pick up another alcoholic drink the rest of your life.  If you can hold true to this promise to yourself then you are serious about getting clean and sober.  So now, all you have to do is to JUST DO IT and don't look back.  Run as fast as you can from your addiction.  Never be weak and let your demons back into your life no matter what happens, whether it be bad or good.  Don't back down or give in because something may have happened to upset you and feel as if you need to drink to fix the problem because believe me it won't work.

Step#8- Keep a Positive Attitude towards get sober.  Believe in yourself.  Tell yourself no matter what happens in your life you WILL NOT relapse. Stay strong.  Keep determined to stay clean and sober forever.  Stay busy physically and mentally.  Take up a hobby that you are interested in.  Spend quality time with your family. If you feel uneasy at a party that is serving alcohol, don't go!  Stay clear of all those that are still drinking alcohol and partying. ( These people just may try and shame you into drinking again, but don't give in.)  Just walk away and say NO THANKS.  You know those words, "MISERY LOVES COMPANY"  Don't be the company.  Be stronger than your addiction and with all this and the determination and desire to get and stay sober you should have no problem getting clean and sober.  It's all in the mind and that mind you have can do miraculous things if you let it, so lets get sober and stay sober!!

Alcoholism Is a Choice

We as individual people get to choose what we want out of life , but some of us choose the wrong direction in our lives.  As far as drinking alcohol and abusing it, I would say that alcoholism is a choice. 

I chose to drink alcohol like many of us do and no one forced me into drinking, I did it all on my own.  I was the one that chose to self destruct myself and almost ruin my life and my family.  I chose to drink and I paid the consequences in the end.

I was fortunate enough that my alcohol addiction did not make me ill enough to be hospitalize, but as far as everything else, it just started to fall to pieces a little at a time until I basically hit rock bottom.  I buried our lives in debt and found it very hard to get out.

No one made me do anything.  I was the only person that listened to my alcohol demons that took over my life and body.  I blame no one, but myself.

Now for the big thing, to be able to get out of something I put myself into, and that was my addiction to alcohol. It was my choice to drink alcohol, (as it is yours and everyone else) that has become addicted to a substance that can and will ruin your life in time, if not drank responsibly.

I chose alcohol over my family and my own health and life and now it was time to surrender to my addiction no matter what it took to get and stay clean and sober.

If you are one of the ones that became addicted to alcohol and alcoholism has taken over your life, I have to say never give up on yourself.  If you want to be clean and sober then start taking action to change your life around and live it like it should be lived, and that is sober and happy.

If you want to be sober than the first step is to admit you are an alcoholic and you want and need help to get sober.  Ask for the help you need and never be embarrassed of your addiction, because what is inside you, your demons, have simply taken over your life and the only way to get rid of them once and for all is to surrender too them and start living a clean and sober life.

I thought is would be so hard to surrender to my demons, but believe it or not, it really wasn't that bad. I have been clean and sober now two years. I had it in my mind from the very beginning that I would achieve sobriety no matter what it took, and nothing or anyone would stand in my way of getting clean and sober.  Once you have it in your mind like I did, and you are serious about quitting drinking alcohol, you will conquer your addiction.

You have to have the determination, the willingness and a strong desire to get clean and sober and with  these things and keeping a positive attitude you will indeed find sobriety as I did.

I was your choice to drink alcohol and it is your choice to get get clean and sober.  The bottom line is, THE CHOICE IS YOURS AND NO ONE ELSE."