|HERE ARE THE TWO BEACH CHAIRS MY WIFE AND I SAT IN MANY TIMES LOOKING AT THE OCEAN AND THANKING GOD FOR MY SOBRIETY.|
There are so many families that have one or even two people (husbands and wives) that are are addicted to alcohol. In many cases that I know of, and one case was my past addiction to alcohol that my wife wanted to help me try and quit drinking alcohol, but anything she said, I just wouldn't listen because I thought she didn't know what she was talking about. After all, in my mind, I had no problem whatsoever with my alcohol, and how much I drank of it. I guess I was living in denial for sure.
That being said, there are, I am sure, millions of families going through the same thing as I did. The spouse wants in the worse way to know how to help an alcoholic quit drinking, but doesn't know the right way to go about it without getting into a huge argument with the alcoholic.
It is like walking on eggshells in a sense. You want to help the alcoholic, but worry at the same time that you my light a fuse and make things worse than they really are. Some spouses just say nothing and deal with the tortures the alcoholic puts them through, until one day, they just have had enough.
That is when things could get ugly in a sense, because they have been holding back saying to the alcoholic what they really think and feel. They just want to help the alcoholic get sober again and remain sober, but in many cases lost for words. And suddenly they start to spurt out everything they have been holding back for so long.
Sometimes arguments and fights may start because the alcoholic knows the truth deep down, but they still don't want to be helped. They may say, (as I did) "I can stop drinking alcohol anytime I wish." Well you know, as well as I know that is a false statement, at least for me it was.
Sometimes the alcoholic needs to be threatened, such as the spouse threatening to leave and not come back until things in the alcoholics life changes for the better. Sometimes, as hard as it might be to do, you need to light a fire under the alcoholics butt and let them know you mean business in every word you speak.
Many times this will work and make the alcoholic think twice before drinking another alcoholic drink. It worked for me that's for sure. Those words, "I WILL LEAVE YOU IF YOU DON'T STOP DRINKING!"
Words such as those are not to hurt the alcoholic, they are to help them. Those words of meaning business may save the marriage or relationship and will in turn save the alcoholics life. Tough love as they call it!
I guess the whole thing here is, if the alcoholic truly loves their spouse, parents or relationship enough, they will stop drinking alcohol and start their recovery process towards long term sobriety. That is what will make the difference of continuing to drink or quitting drinking. Love, and what is more important in their life. Their spouses, families and friends or alcohol? It is not a hard decision to make!
If you really want your spouse to get sober and stay sober try sitting down with him/her while they are sober, (with no alcohol in them) and try to explain in a calm way what they are doing to them self and how their drinking is effecting the family and friends they have.
The alcoholic has to know this unless they are totally blind to the whole situation. I knew and agreed that every word spoken was correct, BUT when a alcoholic lives in denial it might be a bit hard to convince them to stop drinking.
The alcoholic has to be ready to change his/her life on their own and not be forced or threatened into sobriety, because if the alcoholic is not ready, no matter what you say will make a difference. I can relate, because I had those talks many times and might of stopped drinking for short time to let the fire burn out and then, bang, right back at my old habits.
In the case of my 2009 experience drinking my beer in the garage all alone, a voice came into my head and it was a voice that changed my life forever. While the talks I had with my wife helped me understand what I was doing to the family and myself, the voice that came about me convinced me I had to get sober and to do it at that moment.
|HERE IS THE ARTICLE I WROTE ON HUBPAGES|
A LIFE CHANGING WHISPER
Stand up to your addiction and save your own life. Your life is worth a second chance, so give it to yourself. You will never be sorry you made the decision to quit drinking alcohol!